readers mom. By now you probably have placed my parenting skills right up there with Dina Lohan and Farrah Abrams (yea, that MTV Teen Mom who waxes her kids eyebrows…oh and maybe made a porn0 or two). Well, read on to find out how Flynn became an accessory to a crime and how if he ever steals your kid’s toy … I blame it on his formative days with the nanny.
The week went fine and Dominique and I found reasons to get Flynn early: Doctors appointment, Dominique had end of day planning, We used his aunt one day. Then Friday came we had no other option and the nanny was watching Flynn. At my house. The nanny had texted me to see if Dominique had a different first name (yes, he does, but I didn’t respond. I knew something was up). As I was figuring out what to say to nanny, Dominique calls me and says the bank called and that there was a check they needed him to authorize. He was in the middle of teaching in a large gym and figured I had paid the nanny with a check. So he approved it. Then called me to see what was up. I YELLED at him, using many profanities, in the middle of our school hallway, that NO I DID NOT and what the hell was going on. Just as I was going to tell my boss I was leaving and inform him what was going on, the nanny called and claimed her grandfather was sick and she needed to go see him in Knoxville (leaving ASAP). (Side note: Earlier in the day she mentioned she and her new boyfriend (of only a short time) were getting a dog from Knoxville that weekend. Oh and the dog cost $250) She’s not the brightest thief or liar.
I told the nanny I would be right home. I ran home. Hugged my sweet Flynn and sent her on her merry way. I didn’t mention anything about the check. I just sent her away and then began to deal with the check issue. I had to wait for the image to load to the website and deal from there. I checked on Saturday morning and the check was clearly not our writing. She had taken it from Dominique’s checkbook (which was by our kitchen desk…gal had a field day by that desk!) and wrote herself an extra $250. Stupidly she back dated it for a Saturday…we never paid on Saturdays. Oh and I had not written her check since December! We contacted the police. We contacted the other family. They then realized a check was written fraudulently from them as well. We called and fired the nanny. She denied everything and hung up on Dominique as he explained to her we no longer needed her services. We contacted references.
We then hated ourselves. And often still do.
How as Flynn (and now Nola’s) mother did I let her keep watching my kid, even though I knew she took the cash? I’d like to think that as soon as the first weird thing happened, I would quit work and stay home with my kid until I found another job or another childcare option. And you probably think you would too. And maybe you would. I used to hear these stories about people who leave their kids with bad babysitters and horrible things happen. I was like why would that mom leave her kids with that person in the first place. Then I realized that as a working parent whose salary was very much needed, it is
hard impossible to juggle it all. I cannot lose my job, but who is going to watch my kid? I cannot call out another day, because I just missed work because Flynn was sick. I don’t have any family nearby willing to miss work to watch my kid and I exhausted all the days I could take Flynn to work with me! What do I do? Well, what I did was I let my kid commit his first crime. You see, when the nanny stole the check helping herself to some extra pay, she took Flynn (and I assume her new boyf) to the bank. Cashed the check. And returned home.
We filed charges. Her dad called me and threatened to SUE ME because some of the nanny’s references were his wife’s coworkers. I suppose they were a tad embarrassed. She was charged. We received money back for the check, but not the gift cards and cash. Oh and she also in this time had stolen a TON of my clothes. Pretty much anything with a label or anything that suited her style. She even stole a throw blanket I received at my wedding shower. The gal had problems and pretty much my wedding shower gifts were a field day for her.
So here we are today. Flynn started daycare a month after we fired her. And it was an AMAZING daycare, but still incredibly hard to leave him. Then in June, with the impending arrival of Nola, we decided to pack up, move back to Philadelphia to be closer to family and to allow me to stay home with the kids for this year. As this school year comes to a close and I begin a job hunt, we are faced with childcare decisions again. It is already incredibly hard, damn near impossible, to leave my kids, but with the reminder of what happened before and the risk I took with Flynn’s well-being fresh in my mind, I am not sure how I will manage. But what I do know is that I learned to trust my gut and stick by it. I am pretty sure Dina Lohan wishes she would have trusted her gut back in 1996 and not taken Lindsey to the club for her 10th birthday. Just like I wished I would have fired the nanny as soon as I realized and dealt with the consequences with work and finances.
So Flynn (and Nola), when you are 10 and ask me why you cannot sleep other Timmy’s house … I will tell you “because my gut has told me since you were born (or maybe before or slightly after…definitely not at 9:59 AM on 4/17/12, but in or around that time) that nothing good comes from sleepovers. Enjoy the party cake and I will be there around 10 to pick you up. You’ll thank me someday.”