Here Begins What I Wish I Would Have Said…

Off on another adventure

Off on another adventure

Well it has been awhile since I finally finished writing something enough to hit the darn publish button. I would like to tell you it was because I was off doing something amazing, – but really it was just a busy, hectic month+ between interviews, in-law visits, sickness, time changes that moved Flynn’s bedtime to darn near 10:30 .. you know life.

However, during this time there were some shiny moments and adventures out into the arctic freeze (seriously people this weather is getting old). During a few of my adventures  I had moments of What I wished I would have said. Two moms. Two annoying encounters. Two times I just sat there or walked away thinking if only I had the nerve to say …

So here is my new series (well to be considered a series I would have to write again … maybe it will become a series), my pathetic, online blog nerve (that no one reads except my mom and sister to correct my grammar) My series of What I wished I would have said… Which is pretty much my ranting. And my being mean and snarky right back at these lovely mums. I am not sure I am proud of this plan, but whatever, let’s see how it goes.

I ventured out with Flynn and Nola to the Please Touch one random afternoon. It was great because the place was damn near empty. We had over 100,000 square feet of pure joy to ourselves. As Flynn ran about running people over with the shopping cart, I put Nola in the carrier so I could feed her as discretely as possible while apologizing to the women and children he clipped with the cart. That being said, Nola was in quite the odd position.

As we were leaving the ShopRite area of the museum, a lovely mother there with her husband and young son around Flynn’s age, whispers rudely says to her husband “She is weeearing her SOOOO low” in her most judgmental, I am better than you and every other mother tone. You know how you imagine Giselle B talks to her football player husband, Tom.

He may or may not have just taken out a few peoples ankles. (Oh and yes he is nowhere near the correct exhibit with that cart)

He may or may not have just taken out a few peoples ankles. (Oh and yes he is nowhere near the correct exhibit with that cart)

Now, a couple of things. 1. What husband cares about how another women wears her carrier. I mean seriously. Dominique would have said huh fifteen times if I made that comment before I just gave up and told him I liked his shirt to end the conversation. 2. I really shouldn’t have cared what this mother had to say. I mean really. I shouldn’t. But her tone. Her I am Giselle Buchden Mother of the Year attitude killed me. Here is where I hate myself…it made me so embarrassed, annoyed, uncomfortable, competitive (no lady I hide the Elf in the most creative spots self), that I proceeded to take Nola out, adjust the carrier and put her back in, only to be annoyed at myself shortly after because I had to feed Nola again and it was a huge pain in the ass. (yea, she eats a lot).

So lady who I allowed to make me annoyed and feel judged here is what I wished I would have said to you:

Yea, my carrier is a little low. I was trying to feed my 4 month old kid without flashing my boobs (and oversized stomach) at your husband over there. Figured I would spare him this afternoon. That being said, your little I am so much better than you attitude because I know appropriate baby-wearing positions was a little rude and quite frankly uncalled for. I mean if you really were worried about the well-being of my child in the carrier (or my poor back) you could have said “Do you want me to help adjust those straps for you?”, but you didn’t really care about my kid or me and you really didn’t even care that I was wearing it wrong or why she was half falling out of the thing. You just wanted to take a moment to profess (to your husband who could really care less) that you are a better mother than me. Well great maybe you are. Your kid probably ate lunch today. Mine didn’t. And he barely ate breakfast. He doesn’t like to eat anymore. We’re working on it. Just so you know, a few minutes ago your kid full-on shoved Flynn so that he could use the register (mind you there were 2 other open registers). Flynn stood there and stared, wondering why someone would do that. Didn’t push back, didn’t cry. Just waited.  You eventually (although it was a bit long) moved him away without letting him know he probably shouldn’t shove kids. It didn’t bother me. As a matter of fact, I thought it was normal kid behavior and didn’t really intervene because kids need to work that stuff out, as kids, to best of their ability. But now that you wanted to try to make me feel bad about my mothering abilities because I feed my kid in an oddly positioned carrier, I will make you feel bad that your kid could possibly be a blossoming bully.

As we all know, I didn’t say that. Or anything. I walked away, with my two kids and felt pity for that women and her need to make herself superior to another mom. (And yes I did feel a little inferior to the point where I took my kid out of the carrier – which kills me that I did that).

Then I called my sister and talked about the biggest *itch I encountered.

Then my sister probably thought how crazy I am and how I need a job.

So there it is What I wish I would have said (but maybe really not). How about you? Any times you wanted to let someone know what you really thought? Oh,No, you don’t have those times… great, now I am the blossoming online bully.

photo 5

My mom is a complete online bully. Someone call Sally Jesse Raphael ASAP

One thought on “Here Begins What I Wish I Would Have Said…

  1. I am going to try to be the best person ever and have pity on that sad small little insecure lady. Chances are she was jealous of you and had to point something out to make herself feel better. I also pity her pathetic husband who is stuck with her. Let’s hope she gets over herself

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