It happened so quick. One minute I was an occasional instagrammer who posted a quick pic of Flynn while liking the photos of my family and friends. Next thing you know I am friends with complete strangers, ordering clothes by commenting with my paypal address and following families who live thousands of millions away, some in a whole other continent. How did this happen? Well folks who are in the early stages of being sucked in – read below. Maybe you can stop before you start writing your own unread blog!
My sister mentions a few blogs. I make mental note.
I check out my sister’s favorite blog. Ain’t no Mom Jeans. I realize every article of clothing said sister purchased post baby was featured by Shana on the blog. (Yeah, she is now referred to by first name among the family)
My sister mentions Momma’s Gone City in conversation and a few other people’s names with blogs. I make mental note.
I become a pregnant stay at home mom of kid who still takes two decent naps a day. At the same time my sister decides it is time to stop because she was sucked in. You mock her.
Since pinterest can only engage for so long, I look up some of the blogs my sister had mentioned. I find Momma’s Gone City.
I read the whole blog and find out Momma’s done the city and moved to California. I send the link to my Cali-sister, maybe my nephew can befriend Beau. I mention to Dominique that California could be a nice place to move. I craiglist houses.
I realize that Momma’s Gone City has an instagram and really love the leggings her kid wears. Flynn needs some more leggings – the American Apparel ones just aren’t cutting it. I order leggings or “soft pants” as he calls them.
I receive some soft pants and post a picture of Flynn wearing the leggings of course tagging the Etsy shop and hashtagging the company too. I decide to follow them on instagram as well.
Said Etsy shop is having a contest: Follow all 15 shops, post the flyer for the content and you too may be the lucky owner of $60 moccs, $40 leggings, a couple of headbands and an $80 sweatshirt. You enter the contest and make your mom enter too.
Your original favorite, Momma’s Gone City, gets a real cute dog. TheoandBeau becomes a phrase. You hashtag a photo of Flynn with theoandbeau. When Dominique mentions getting a dog – you don’t tell him he is an F’in idiot for the first time ever.
Momma’s Gone City teams up with some lady named Mommy Shorts for a contest. You of course tag some photos of Flynn and Nola for the contest then head over to Mommy Shorts blog. Man she is funny. I tell my mom every funny thing she writes. Maybe even read a few blog posts out loud. I subscribe.
I might even comment on a few facebook posts she has.
Momma’s Gone City likes your photo. Your sister, brother-in-law and husband all text you about her liking the photo as they know what a big deal that is. I was so excited you would have thought I just won a pair of $60 moccs.
You don’t win the contest.
Your infant daughter still hasn’t figured out the whole sleeping through the night bit. She wakes up at 2 AM to eat and you become desperate since no one has posted anything new on instagram. You check out recent news to see who your followers recently liked.
Hmmm Jodi Mockabee’s picture. Oh, wow that is really cute. Let me follow her and read her blog.
Night 2: Oh, Jodi liked some lady whose kids sleep soundly enough she dresses them up. I can’t even get Nola from my arms to the crib without a freak out. Oh and she’s is in Australia and posts during the night. Might as well follow her too.
Night 3: Well, nothing new on the recent news front. Oh, what is this #creativetable that Shana just posted. You click it.
You begin to look at various creativetables. You then search creativetable on pinterest.
You buy $150 worth of crafting things from Amazon.
Next thing you know your house (and Flynn’s leggings) are covered in Moon sand, liquid water colors, tempera paint, shaving cream, rice, baking soda and various other kitchen items turned crafting supplies. You participate in something called a Flash Sale to get more leggings.
These crafty activities buy me more internet time. I remember this blog I had thought about starting in Nashville. I decide to pick up the blog again. (Ok well really start since I only had one post while in Nashville).
My mom (Nan) reads the blog. Nan finds way too many grammatical errors. Nan and sisters try to emphasize the importance of good grammar.
Nan mentions how Shana writes perfectly.
Nan stops following blog because she can’t stand your grammatical errors.
You enter rehab for internet addiction.
*To the women and bloggers mentioned above…I promise I am not the next Dante Michael Soiu (aka Ms. Paltrow’s stalker)