Here Begins What I Wish I Would Have Said…

Off on another adventure

Off on another adventure

Well it has been awhile since I finally finished writing something enough to hit the darn publish button. I would like to tell you it was because I was off doing something amazing, – but really it was just a busy, hectic month+ between interviews, in-law visits, sickness, time changes that moved Flynn’s bedtime to darn near 10:30 .. you know life.

However, during this time there were some shiny moments and adventures out into the arctic freeze (seriously people this weather is getting old). During a few of my adventures  I had moments of What I wished I would have said. Two moms. Two annoying encounters. Two times I just sat there or walked away thinking if only I had the nerve to say …

So here is my new series (well to be considered a series I would have to write again … maybe it will become a series), my pathetic, online blog nerve (that no one reads except my mom and sister to correct my grammar) My series of What I wished I would have said… Which is pretty much my ranting. And my being mean and snarky right back at these lovely mums. I am not sure I am proud of this plan, but whatever, let’s see how it goes.

I ventured out with Flynn and Nola to the Please Touch one random afternoon. It was great because the place was damn near empty. We had over 100,000 square feet of pure joy to ourselves. As Flynn ran about running people over with the shopping cart, I put Nola in the carrier so I could feed her as discretely as possible while apologizing to the women and children he clipped with the cart. That being said, Nola was in quite the odd position.

As we were leaving the ShopRite area of the museum, a lovely mother there with her husband and young son around Flynn’s age, whispers rudely says to her husband “She is weeearing her SOOOO low” in her most judgmental, I am better than you and every other mother tone. You know how you imagine Giselle B talks to her football player husband, Tom.

He may or may not have just taken out a few peoples ankles. (Oh and yes he is nowhere near the correct exhibit with that cart)

He may or may not have just taken out a few peoples ankles. (Oh and yes he is nowhere near the correct exhibit with that cart)

Now, a couple of things. 1. What husband cares about how another women wears her carrier. I mean seriously. Dominique would have said huh fifteen times if I made that comment before I just gave up and told him I liked his shirt to end the conversation. 2. I really shouldn’t have cared what this mother had to say. I mean really. I shouldn’t. But her tone. Her I am Giselle Buchden Mother of the Year attitude killed me. Here is where I hate myself…it made me so embarrassed, annoyed, uncomfortable, competitive (no lady I hide the Elf in the most creative spots self), that I proceeded to take Nola out, adjust the carrier and put her back in, only to be annoyed at myself shortly after because I had to feed Nola again and it was a huge pain in the ass. (yea, she eats a lot).

So lady who I allowed to make me annoyed and feel judged here is what I wished I would have said to you:

Yea, my carrier is a little low. I was trying to feed my 4 month old kid without flashing my boobs (and oversized stomach) at your husband over there. Figured I would spare him this afternoon. That being said, your little I am so much better than you attitude because I know appropriate baby-wearing positions was a little rude and quite frankly uncalled for. I mean if you really were worried about the well-being of my child in the carrier (or my poor back) you could have said “Do you want me to help adjust those straps for you?”, but you didn’t really care about my kid or me and you really didn’t even care that I was wearing it wrong or why she was half falling out of the thing. You just wanted to take a moment to profess (to your husband who could really care less) that you are a better mother than me. Well great maybe you are. Your kid probably ate lunch today. Mine didn’t. And he barely ate breakfast. He doesn’t like to eat anymore. We’re working on it. Just so you know, a few minutes ago your kid full-on shoved Flynn so that he could use the register (mind you there were 2 other open registers). Flynn stood there and stared, wondering why someone would do that. Didn’t push back, didn’t cry. Just waited.  You eventually (although it was a bit long) moved him away without letting him know he probably shouldn’t shove kids. It didn’t bother me. As a matter of fact, I thought it was normal kid behavior and didn’t really intervene because kids need to work that stuff out, as kids, to best of their ability. But now that you wanted to try to make me feel bad about my mothering abilities because I feed my kid in an oddly positioned carrier, I will make you feel bad that your kid could possibly be a blossoming bully.

As we all know, I didn’t say that. Or anything. I walked away, with my two kids and felt pity for that women and her need to make herself superior to another mom. (And yes I did feel a little inferior to the point where I took my kid out of the carrier – which kills me that I did that).

Then I called my sister and talked about the biggest *itch I encountered.

Then my sister probably thought how crazy I am and how I need a job.

So there it is What I wish I would have said (but maybe really not). How about you? Any times you wanted to let someone know what you really thought? Oh,No, you don’t have those times… great, now I am the blossoming online bully.

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My mom is a complete online bully. Someone call Sally Jesse Raphael ASAP

Thinking for Two

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You forgot about your future kids, hahaha.

When I was pregnant with Flynn and registering for gifts, I read every review known to man. I read Amazon reviews, Consumer Reports, blogs, Parents Magazines and on and on and on. What one person deemed the greatest thing ever was another person’s waste of money. For every excellent consumer reports rating there were 15 people on Amazon saying it almost killed their child, or at least caused a third eye. Does Flynn really need the organic mattress and what is the difference between the Bjourn and the Ergo? Despite spending hours upon hours, making lists and reading reviews, I never once thought about what products would last not just Flynn, but all the babies we planned on having. Dominique and I always said we wanted a lot of kids, however, we never once factored that in to the decisions about what baby products to buy.

Now that Baby #2 is here I realize that we now need to upgrade to products that can handle a toddler and a newborn. Since many new moms out there are doing just what Dominique and I did for months on end, I figured I would share a few products we wished we would have planned and purchased to prep for the multiple kids we wanted.

The Stroller

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Love this stroller, but where will Nola Go 😦

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The Double

We love our stroller. We also have a decent double stroller that we bought for the nanny back when we did a nanny share. However, I find that double stroller way to big and really wish I would have gone with a convertible stroller like the UppaBaby Vista or the Baby Jogger City Select. We are now debating between the UppaBaby with the Rumble Seat or the City Select with the two. Had I been thinking past our first baby, I would have skipped the Mamas and Papas (as much as I love that stroller) and went for the Uppababy to prevent needing to buy a new stroller so soon.

The Monitor

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Who needs a monitor when we sleep like this?

When we first registered for a baby monitor, I was like I don’t really need one with a camera. That seems a little much. Then the first time I tried to use the monitor, it was impossible to hear Flynn crying. So we returned the monitor to Amazon and then never bought a new one since Flynn found a nice cozy space in my bed and was content to nap in the living room in his little Baby Home.  This past summer when we moved to Philadelphia and started having Flynn nap (and eventually sleep) in his crib, we figured it was time to get a monitor. I picked up a First Years video monitor that was on sale at Target and have had no complaints…until Nola arrived and loves to sleep in while we are all downstairs. Currently, I move the monitor between rooms or use an Ipad app when both are sleeping at the same time. Once again, would have just been easier to think about multiple young kids and ordered a monitor that can easily add a camera.

Cloth Diapers

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Nola can rock a blue cloth diaper that says handsome, right?

This is one area where we thought long term. We figured we would be able to use the diapers for multiple kiddos and therefore were willing to make the investment in Charlie Banana diapers. However, what we didn’t think about was poor Nola having to wear cloth diapers that say Handsome on them or are royal blue with rocketships clearly designed for a boy. Since both kiddos are wearing cloths right now, I did find some gender neutral numbers (and one pink one) on sale at Target to add to the stash. However, poor Nola still has to rock some boy colors and any future baby will inherit whatever diapers survive these two.

I guess one place we lucked out is Flynn loves himself some gender neutral pants so Nola will be set for months to come!

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Yep. Definitely gender-neutral.